It’s been a while since I posted in my blog — and what better way to get back into blogging by writing my traditional yearly entry about my birthday, accompanied by a reflection on how I feel about getting one year older?
Today, I turn 28 years old.
If you read last year’s birthday entry, then you know that when I turned 27, it felt a bit odd. That’s because I felt like I had been 27, at least mentally, for a whole year already — during the entirety of my 26th year, to be exact (because I was so set on bringing myself down through my age). So, in a way, it didn’t feel like I was getting older, because I already felt that way for a long time.
In contrast, this year it feels… different: it feels like I am not done being 27 just yet. Which is kind of funny, isn’t it? Two opposite feelings for two birthdays only separated by a year — which goes to show just how much someone’s life and sentiments can change, even in the span of one year.
This year has been intense, in the best way possible.
Some highlights of the past year include: moving to a new city and in a much nicer, better flat (which I am still utterly in love with, by the way — that hasn’t changed a bit!); starting a new degree (which I also love and enjoy), thus learning new things, like writing different scripts and such; making new things, such as video and radio documentaries, and of course, my biggest achievement this year, actually making a short film.
Part of me still can’t quite believe I did that, even months after I finished it and uploaded it on Youtube. The short film also earned me my highest ever grade in my academic career — a 95 out of 100 on my Graded Unit score, which is just… for a person like me, who was constantly told her whole life that my best was never enough and that I “never applied myself” to academia… it’s flabbergasting. In the best way.
I grew a lot, as an artist, during my 27th year. Which is exactly what I was unhappy with when I was 26: I felt stuck and stagnating, and I really hated myself for it.
And now it’s the opposite. I feel like I have learned and developed myself and my sense of artistic purpose a lot. The reason I feel like I’m not done being 27 yet is simply because I don’t feel I’m done growing yet.
I know this isn’t connected to age, really — but 27, for me, was the year all the positive changes happened and where I changed too, for the better. It doesn’t feel like a year, it feels more like this is a whole period of my life I’m living where I’m excited to just keep growing and growing and riding this momentum wave, and just letting it take me wherever it wants to.
I can tell I’m going to have a hard time remembering I’m 28 instead of 27, haha. But I’m not upset that I’m ageing — I’m looking forward to what my 28th year will bring if anything.
This is a shorter reflection than usual, but I still enjoyed writing it down. ?
Happy birthday to me! ?